Beijing Gay Culture

Beijing Gay Scene

by Rupert-Angus Mann

"Gay Beijing" - I'm not sure there is such a thing. As a foreigner who spent around a year living in Beijing I could see that the idea of "gay" was very different to the one I knew in the West.

The Chinese word for gay, tongzhi, or comrade in Chinese. (tongzhi), is a term of address from the Cultural Revolution meaning "comrade". It is today, as it was then, a term acknowledging a shared characteristic (gayness) while at the same time putting addresser and addressee on the same level, where being a tongzhi means little because when you are a comrade, so are all the other comrades.

It follows, therefore, that for the Chinese being gay means very little about who you are, and Beijing's gay community is often quite reserved. You will not find many people who feel the need to broadcast their sexuality. Actually, it is often the opposite; housemates and work colleagues are not told. No one is, but the closest of friends.

Asked why this is the case Cheng, a 22-year-old commerce student, replied "because it is not their business! Why do they need to know!?" This comes from a sense of privacy and humbleness: why burden others with this information if it has nothing to do with them. Others in the gay community do not feel the need to be open because it is simply not important to them. "It means nothing! I can't think it means anything really at all", Li a 31-year-old IT specialist told me, "Who I choose to love, man or woman, why does it matter to anybody else except my partner?"

This attitude is characteristic of many gay men in Beijing, a place where privacy is very highly respected.

Gay couples can be seen holding hands in this city and although people may look twice it is usually out of curiosity rather than disgust. People will stare, no doubt, but if they are caught looking, they will likely look away and not hold the stare in hostility. Unlike many Western cities, where any public show of same sex affection is often met with jeers or open verbal, even physical, abuse, in Beijing people are far too polite and respect people's privacy far too much to do any such thing.

This is one of the beautiful paradigms of Chinese culture: although homosexuality is not officially fully tolerated, and although many people may not understand or like it, Beijingers will not take it on themselves to openly tell other people how to live their life. And so in this way being gay in Beijing is easier than in many Western cities.

Yet there are challenges here. Since 1979 China has had a one-child policy, meaning that no one under the age of about 29 has brothers or sisters. For gay men this has a very profound meaning. In Chinese families sons have a special role; they are responsible for continuing the family line.

Therefore when a son is gay, he faces a hugely difficult set of decisions and it makes coming out to his family infinitely more difficult. Not only is he telling them he is gay, that there will probably be no grandchildren, that there will be no wedding and no wife, he is also telling them that the family line, the rhythm of hundreds of years of Chinese tradition will end with him because there is no brother who can step into the role.

For most Chinese telling their parents that they are gay is incredibly difficult; however it does not necessarily mean that there is resentment and that the family connection broken. "Having my family know about [my sexuality] is not as important as making sure that my parents are proud of me I don't want to be a disappointment to them and I don't want to upset them", Dong, a 24-year-old teacher, told me.

In fact for many guys the important thing is protecting the family. Some, out of love for their family or not wanting to upset the balance, will take a wife and have a child. This has occurred in China for hundreds of years and is by no means unique to this country. For every man who is open enough to go to a gay club, there are many others who live a "normal" life, unable, for the moment, to change the balance.

However, cultural balance is a fluid thing in Beijing.

The Chinese people are always willing to adopt new ideas, from bicycles and i-phones to Communism and Buddhism, if they believe it is good in some way.

And unlike the West, the Chinese people don't have to come far to accept gay people into their culture because they never really excluded them in the first place, never grouped them together and assigned a label.

So enjoy your time in Beijing, plunge in. Although people can sometimes seem a little unapproachable, realise that many in the LGBT community, like so many other minorities around the world, have their defences up for a reason.

You will find that Beijing is a place where, as long as you are not harming anybody else, being who you are is fine by the locals. Explore all the city has to offer and don't stick to the well worn club circuit.

The charm of Beijing is its unique rhythm; this ancient grey capital is actually full of colour if you look past its reserved exterior.

Throw a wink at a cute guy in Xidan or enjoy a drink by the willow-lined lake at Houhai. If you put the effort in, you will discover a lot to remember.

Beijing Gay Bars and Clubs

Queer As Folk Beijing Premier at The Boat Bar

This event is held at The Boat, a bar in YanSha near Sanlitun, every second Sunday. Here the works of River S. Wei, a Xinjiang born director, are shown to a mostly gay audience of regulars and people interested in his "Queer as Folk: Beijing" series.

This series, also posted on YouTube, provides a fascinating insight into what it's like for gay men to live in Beijing, what it means to be gay and also how foreigners find life here.

Both foreigners and native Chinese are featured in often very candid interviews. Everything is discussed, from sex and the best bars to questions striking at the heart of gay identity and challenges to stereotypes. Check out QAF Beijing for more info.

A very relaxed atmosphere with a half and half crowd of Chinese and foreigners, it is very easy to meet new people here, and for foreigners new to the city the films provide a great way to see gay life in Beijing from a Chinese perspective.

Promen at LAN Bar

Held at LAN Bar (F/F Twin Tower, Jianguomen Waidajie, Jianguomen. Opposite the Silk Market in LG Towers Twin Towers LG Towers address in Chinese. .

This is a regular Thursday night event which is organized by Promen, Professional Gay Men Beijing. This organization was established to provide networking opportunities for the professional gay crowd of Beijing. A mix of ages here, and usually men who come along speak very good English amongst an array of other languages. A very friendly crowd, who mingle around the stylish Philippe Starck-designed bar meeting interesting guys. Everyone is ready to indulge in a hearty conversation or just shoot the breeze. Guys here are very welcoming and you can happily look forward to a lack of clique! Unlike some of the bigger clubs, this crowd is happy to welcome a stranger.

Boy Air Swim Team

Boyair Swim team was established in 2006, in part by ex-Chinese swim champion "Wolf". A largely young crowd of playful guys who spend the afternoon on Saturdays doing laps at pools around Haidian, the swim meet is often topped off with a warmly competitive relay race. Afterwards the team, of usually around 30 guys, go to a nearby restaurant for a meal, after which they play a round of mafia, (杀人游戏) a popular Chinese game.

This team is one of the most supportive elements of the gay community in Beijing. At the swim meets, there is presently training for those who want to learn to swim freestyle while the dinner and game afterwards provides an opportunity for guys to catch up, hang out and meet new friends.

Once a year a large variety show is organised at which all the members of Boyair (several hundred guys) show their talents. Expect drag queens, fashion shows, singers, Beijing opera, dancers, traditional Chinese zither (guqin) players and much more. All the members of the team have their own "flower names," pseudonyms for their gay identity, such as "Snow Wolf", "SM", "White Rabbit" and "Brown Camel", so think of your own before you go. Although some members speak English, it is a good idea to be able to speak a little Chinese or, even better, go with a Chinese friend.

Destination

Beijing's most famous gay bar and the overwhelmingly popular destination for the young gay crowd of Beijing. A vibrant, pulsating hip hum-drum of bodies writhing to the big beats, this place has been the most enduring gay club in Beijing. A mix of rooms for chatting, dancing or lounging, all types, all ages.

Gay Beijing information provided by Rupert-Angus Mann